Sometimes it’s time to speak up.
People may tell you that it’s not a big enough deal to make a fuss about it, or that maybe you’re the one who should be getting over it. But, the truth is that there is no such thing as being a cry-baby, tattle-tale, or snitch when someone’s well-being is on the line. Of course that sentiment varies by circumstance and should be taken with a grain of salt, but I think you get what I mean.
It’s funny…sometimes the hardest person for me to speak up for is myself. I’m the tough girl, the one-of-the-guys…girl. Wouldn’t complaining about mistreatment be a little (God forbid!) girlie? Not always, and definitely not for me at this moment. It’s fun to be one of the guys and it’s fun to have a little bit of a tough side. I’ve seen more crazy sights, climbed (and fallen out of) a lot of trees, had to jump a fence for fear of being impaled on a bull horn, and gotten more bloody knees than I care to count. I wouldn’t trade those toughening experiences for anything. Unfortunately, though, these experiences have left me at a loss for being consistently able to identify when I am being physically mistreated. I mean…how is a girl who has grown up being a toughie going to be able to tell the difference between simple rough-housing and unnecessary roughness? The answer is - the people who care about me.
If a friend or family member is shocked by something you just told them in your signature laugh-it-off tone, take note of it. Friends and/or family are removed from your immediate situation and are, more often than not, able to see the situation for what it really is. Where you might laugh off the fact that one of your guy friends “gently” hit your face, people who actually care about you will raise an eyebrow or two. And, if a guy friend gives you a dead-leg for no reason and the next day you have a purple bruise the size of his fist, people who care about you can point out that that bruise qualifies as being unnecessary.
The sad fact of it is, abuse comes in an overwhelming amount of different forms. Though I am specifically referencing men in this post, I won’t neglect to point out that women will be guilty of abuse too. Everyone has their own style, but abuse is more common than I care to think about.
The point is…listen to your family, listen to your friends (your real friends, that is). They are most consistently the ones who will act and speak out of their love for you. And, if you fall into the trap of thinking that it’s none of your family or friends’ business and you think they should stay out of it…then be veryworried. The day that you refuse to acknowledge that your hurt causes severe pain to those closest to you is the day that you have truly begun to go under. Pain is like quicksand; it appears harmless until it is moments from taking your life from away.
